A Week That Has Changed Me
This week has been amazing. It has helped me get refueled to endure. I have for the past 11 months of my mission tried to make my mission what I have wanted it to be. I acknowledged the Lord that I needed his help but I was hard headed and still tried to do things on my own. To be honest, I am still struggling with the language. Not in the sense that I am getting sad, but just that I want to be better. I have prayed and prayed for the gift of tongues and it just hasn't come. I have always wanted more. Things haven't been what I wanted. Even in my prayers, I just have that kind of attitude that I am going to take control of things and they have to be my way. Sometimes not relying on Heavenly Father. It gradually made its way to being ungrateful for everything that I have been given. Even though I had a baptism coming up, I wanted more. But this week changed it. I knew what I had to do, give myself up completely to his will. I fasted and prayed for help to be grateful. It came with the baptism of Sister Sheila. I think this baptism has helped me grow the most. I felt the spirit and even more about what kind of work I am doing. An answer also came last night. I happened to run into the only real atheist I have met in the Philippines. I am so grateful for the gospel and the direction it has given me in my life. Unlike him, I know my life has a purpose. I am doing more for the people. The humanitarian work is important because Christ changes things from the inside out, but the world changes from the outside in. I am changing people. They can then change their surroundings to make a better life style for them and others. I am so grateful for everything that has happened in my life. I have given Jesus Christ the reigns for my mission. He will make it much better than I can on my own. This whole experience has helped me grow closer unto my Savior, Jesus. I am grateful for everything. Its been hard, but rewarding. I have sooo many more blessings and experiences on the way :) He will give me everything. Even the gift of tongues :) If I pray and fast hard enough for it :)
I have changed and taken steps towards my Heavenly Father :)
Love,
Elder Bigelow
The pitfalls of walking in the rice fields.
Here is another, Where's Holden?
My new white Caraobou belt.
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